My drive from a Fan to ....

It's just half a year is Gone By and 2020 has shown the worst out of it. Now I am getting disturbed by that. Deaths disturb me lot, Piling up deaths this year is a what I never thought of, that I would experience this phase also. 

But that's different today for me as I get to remember a scenario which had disturbed me in the past as well.

Being a 90's kid I was fan of Bollywood and became a bigg fan in my teenage. But gradually as I grew up that interest got eroded it tilted towards art and talent and not the big and beautiful stars. Also there were instances where I was so deeply interested in every film that I used to mimic them and created superficial crushes during my High Schools. 

As the time passed I lost interest in watching films may be due to the kind of content these films were creating or may be I grew up. I felt everything was superficial and extra lavishly presented.And my interest shifted to art rather than romance and action. I still love watching movies of "my times" which makes me laugh, Works as mind soother. 

Also today on social media people talk about nepotism, yeah one of the reasons which eroded my interest. One of my juniors had a wish to get a chance in films. And I being an intellectual senior (haha) guided them it's hard it's really hard, you have to be strong, you should firstly complete your studies and you should have connections. You have to get through so much you can't think of, if you can stand still in those tough situations, then you must give it a try.

From above Eg: it's pretty much clear how difficult it is and what kind of impression does it creates on people like me.

An AIR 7, in AIEEE Engineer  in Mechanical Engineering takes a risk of dropping out and after creating pretty much good base of work in Television enters Bollywood and what he experience there is Insult and nepotism. Even after doing far better films than his contemporaries no appreciation and no friends. He used to urge people to go and watch his film otherwise they will kick him out.  A person with high intelligence who talked about educational reforms astro physics, Invested in AI Company, followed International Space University gets what in return is threat of being left out, stress and stigma. Yes because illiterate people whose life just revolves around the OOTD, Prithvi Raj Chauhan as the President of India, and to whom Sanjeevni Booti was brought for Bhagwaan Ram  couldn't mark upto his intelligence. Capitalism in industry is what has taken all over control by a few families.It applies to every field and business.

Being from an Engineering background I feel "Wo ek Engineer hokar Bhi haar gya"(Here I judged him) how much pain he might be going through that ending life felt more easy than to live.

People who all are baatoing their Gyaan all over social media on depression and saying that call me whenever you feel are the ones who judge people for sharing their thoughts and ignore them. And don't realise that person might not be even able to utter why he feel so and just gets struck into the vicious cycle, where he might feel ending life is the only way to get out of it.